If you have an hour, jump down this rabbit hole. https://www.instagram.com/p/CCw51IWndrZ/
But who has an hour?
You don't come to CSF to have to spend an hour of your life watching slack-jawed morons, running down social media links and expired Instagram stories, trying to figure out context and background information. Who has time for this drama? Well, CSF does, that's who. We know you expect the CSF team to watch the slack-jawed morons in your stead and report the observations in an easily digestible form and with screenshots.
And that's EXACTLY what we'll do, thank you very much.
VIDEO LINK OVERVIEW
The link above is to IAMCDB's Instagram channel show titled "Real Talk"
, wherein wetshaving content creators and youtube shavers IAMCDB and
SoSharpDavid present their content in an Instagram live format, and speak freely and extemporaneously about wetshaving and other wetshaving-adjacent people and happenings. In this particular video, they discuss the practice of flipping shave products generally (that is to say, selling products above MSRP/profiteering), and an incident (hereinafter, "The Incident"; details below) from a few days prior where Mammoth soaps' owner highlighted one such flipper attempting to profiteer off a Mammoth release on Instagram. The video is annotated and time stamped below for the good stuff. Well, not good stuff.
- IAMCDB (hereinafter "CDB"): Longtime wetshaving content provider and contributor under a number of different aliases (Traditional Shaving Evangelist, iLather, IAMCDB), most active on youtube, but has a presence on Instagram, twitter, and on facebook wetshaving groups as well; became known early on in his wetshaving social media content creation career by being a prolific reviewer of artisan shave wares, mixing shave talk with political talk, and not pulling punches in any case. While the CSF team--and this curator in particular--have been down on CDB over the years (particularly during his phase of using Irish Spring Soap and a cartridge, and proclaiming Maca Root is just as good as anything that artisans produce), we'd be remiss if we failed to mention that within the past 6 months or so, CDB's outlook and attitudes seem much better, his content has been refreshingly politics-free, helpful even, and he seems, for the most part, to have reverted to his enthusiastic Traditional Shaving Evangelist-era best version of himself. He even, for a brief moment in time, jumped on the Indian Lather God Method train. Respek.
- SoSharpDavid (hereinafter "Sus"): Another long time youtube shaver that has produced content reliably and consistently over the years (the value of which is dubious...but whatever). Sus first came to the attention of this curator (and in fact coined the term "fish ass") for his video commentary regarding spoiled Grooming Dept soaps. Similar to CDB, Sus puts a premium on "real talk" and "telling it like it is." Differentiating his peculiar brand of real talk from CDB's, Sus appears to also put a premium on "being an edgelord" and "being a tough guy" and "making an ass out of himself" and "constantly saying dumb, indefensible shit" and "acting like he gets paid per use of the word 'fuck'" and "sitting on his toilet during Instagram live events." Also notable, he really, really, really hates Reddit because of, in his own words, the "anonymity" of the users of the forum. Whether he hates the screen name usage of his preferred social media of Youtube and Instagram (or the "anonymity" of other shaving groups like Badger & Blade, TSN, or any other fora that don't demand users be referred to by their legal names), we couldn't say.
- Mammoth Soaps (hereinafter "Mammoth" when referring to the company; "Ben" when referring to the owner): A New York-based soap company, owned by a mysterious man only known in hushed tones as "Ben." Not much is known about this "Ben", other than he makes at least (but probably no more than) 7 soaps and aftershaves per drop that are highly sought after and all 7 units of which sell out in mere seconds every time, uses his company as a vehicle to raise awareness about human trafficking and donates portions of his sales and from fundraisers to organizations that fight human trafficking, used to be exclusive with West Coast Shaving (much to Reddit's chagrin) but may or may not be any longer, shaves like a pirate, and doesn't like the practice of people buying his products and then turning around and selling them immediately for profit. More on this later.
- sarasotawetshaver aka Mikey Moneybags (hereinafter "Mikey"): Known mostly on Instagram for his outrageous antics, this gentlesir successfully purchased one of the 7 soaps from Mammoth's previous release of Santal Noir, a collaboration between Mammoth and Australia Private Reserve.
- jnute_2a: a shithead. Hereinafter "Shithead."
THE INCIDENT AND BACKGROUND
- On June 26, 2020 at high noon Mammoth released Santal Noir soap and aftershave at an price of $25 for the soap and $25 for the aftershave. Predictably, Santal Noir sold out only seconds after going live. Also predictably, people who wanted soap/felt entitled to get soap but were unable to get soap became upset. But grown ass men flipping their lids over being unable to acquire shave wares is another CSF post altogether.
- Shortly after receiving his Mammoth order, Mikey listed his unused Santal Noir soap on his Instagram story for $60. Shipped! Not the soap AND aftershave, mind you. Just the soap.
- Ben saw Mikey's listing. Ben was not pleased.
- Ben made available for sell two dozen soaps at $48 a piece, the idea being "why pay flippers their inflated prices when you can cut out the flippers, save $12 on flipper prices if you were so inclined to pay flipper prices, pay Mammoth directly instead, and then Mammoth will donate 100% of all the money collected on this sale to one of his preferred human trafficking prevention charities?" Also, be sure to check those Instagram comments on that post for that real good good.
- Brilliant idea, right?
- Mikey got VERY upset.
- Though unconnected to the larger narrative or curation here and existing only as an observer, a bit player, and a commenter, Shithead also got VERY upset.
- VERY, VERY upset.
- VERY, VERY, VERY upset.
- VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY upset.
- Ben returns fire.
- And boy, did Ben hit the nail on the head here.
- While fuckboys and content creators were feigning outrage at such unprofessionalism and this egregious affront to capitalism and the free market, Ben unbottoned his figurative pantaloons, dropped metaphorical trau, busted out his swollen yet allegorical nutsack, laced his non-literal plums through their analogical eye sockets, fancifully fucked around and actually, precisely, and literally donated $1152 to his charity in honor of these buckethead flippers. For the Sus-level galaxy brains out there, that's 100% of the gross receipts from the 24 soaps that was donated.
- If that wasn't BDE enough, a benefactor MATCHED Ben's donation. And if that didn't tickle your pickle, the benefactor's employer also matched Ben's donation.
ENTER REAL TALK HOT TAKES
Some people create Instagram stories showing themselves throwing a toddler tantrum and throwing their own property into a trash can. Some people create lazy content for their lazy youtube and Instagram accounts for the lazy subscribers. Other people create about 3 and half G's from thin air and bring them into the coffers of a non-profit organization battling the unspeakable evils of sex slavery. Fuck them kids,
won't someone--ANYONE--think of the content creators? The influencers? Hello!
So with mega-influencer Ben providing every bit of the show prep with The Incident and influencing the absolute balls off the place, CDB and Sus were now ready to spew forth their vomitous content creation, Instagram shavers gobbling it up, mouths agape like baby birds, mama bird Sus retching out something even more horrifying and with even less value than the gizzard-torn cricket guts that the baby birds--Shithead, Chief, and the boyz--are accustomed to gulping down.
Content warning: Now would be a great time to don your fire suits and asbestos underwear because you're about to hear some straight 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 takes, homie.
CBD is mostly playing the good cop to Sus's pants-on-head, drool-on-shirt, soup-spoon-in-rectum cop. It's one of the more aggressively absurd bits of wetshaving content we've seen come through CSF's hallowed halls.
Unlike with youtube, there isn't a way to easily link or time stamp to specific points with Instagram videos, so you'll have to follow along and fast forward if you'd like. 3:52
: Sus, lacking any sense of irony, on when it's okay to personally attack someone. Coincidentally, CSF has the exact same call out/bitch shit policy.
I never want to personally attack anybody…if you do some bitch shit, if you act like an asshole, I have no problem calling that out. 4:05
: Sus with regards to his own lack of self-awareness.
If you act like an asshole, that's your personality shining through. 16:28
: Sus on when it's okay for artisans to lash out publicly (we can assume the answer to the question of "when is it okay for content creators to lash out publicly?" would be something like "the exact nanosecond any random dumb thought enters my squishy, dumb brain, so long as I can rush to smash the record button on my camera, and assuming I don't trip over my shoelaces on the way there. Wait, velcro shoes don't have laces.").
Go ahead and lash out. Lash out at home. Don’t do that shit publicly.
Oh dear, it's beginning to look like Sus believes that having a youtube channel or an instagram Real Talk show entitles to him to the exact same attitudes and actions that he despises from artisans. Weird. You just don't expect such lazy, thoughtless, hypocritical takes from an influencer and content creator of his caliber. Actually, no. You really do. 17:08
: Sus, on public shaming's inappropriateness. It's really starting to look like that Sus thinks he's entitled to special rights and privileges like some sorta Karen. A Karen in a flat-brimmed hat. A Karen on the shitter.
If you’re going to publicly shame a single person…that’s a bitch move.
...he says as he's publicly shaming a single person in a move that for some reason isn't seen as bitch-like. He's a content creator, you see. And he's acting in defense of a customer, you see. Grovel, you bitch ass artisan. Take it. Once a customer gives you money, you owe him not only product, but eternal respect. And silence. Definitely STFU. 22:33
: Sus refuses to shy away from tone-deaf analogies.
[Ben] was requesting a public lynching.
The portion from 22:33
until about 24:30
is worth a listen. It's just incredible. Incredibly dumb. There's a lot to react to -- everything from calling Mikey a "colleague" to demanding Mammoth make more product to expressing the belief that purchasing something permanently inoculates a customer from any claims of bad behavior to the idea that an artisan not wanting customers to flip their wares is similar to being mad at their wife for her not wanting you to cheat.
You'd think that after back-to-back-to-back hot takes, he'd eventually throw one in there that wasn't completely absurd. You might want to think that. I get the desire to think that. I want that. We all want that. Literally everyone wants that. But you'd be wrong. You're not getting that. It actually gets worse from here...
IF YOU ONLY WATCH ONE CLIP, WATCH THIS ONE: 28:25
: And now Sus's piece de resistance--his unified theory on why wetshavers act badly: they forget that they might get punched in the mouth. But if you want to step to Sus when you see him at a meetup because of things he's said, bring it, bitch. He's willing to throw hands in defense of his youtube and Instagram wetshaving takes. It also appears that Sus is threatening Ben if he ever happens to see him at a meetup. Also, shoutout to CDB for trying to de-escalate Sus's alpha-moron meathead act. Pearls before swine, bro. Pearls before swine.
I don’t know Ben, but would he have said that shit…with the risk of getting punched in the mouth? 30:54
: Sus on his emotionality.
One thing, I’m generally not an emotional guy…I’m never upset. I don’t lose my cool like that…the shaving stuff doesn’t bother me.
Well, that's a relief. I'd hate to see you actually get emotional and, say, throw down a fist fight challenge to a soapmaker. 31:20
: We've not emerged from the Twilight Zone just quite yet.
When you're disrespectful, it rubs me the wrong way. 32:32
: Sus, in a thick, dense fog that is his lack of self-awareness, continues to stack absurdity atop shitheadedness atop dumber and dumber nonsense.
I don't appreciate us being provoked [by Ben] as content creators. 58:30
: Sus, after an hour of calling an artisan a punk, a bitch, throwing down the gauntlet and preparing for a fist fight in a highly emotional rant, breaks it down for the community.
Just love one another, dude. We're all family.
Indeed. Love ya, buddy.
From all the curators at CSF, we thank you for reading. Don't forget to like, subscribe, and comment below.