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Help me understand the mindset behind active pursuit, then backpedaling.
Hello! While dating I keep running into the same issue with men. Not every man of course, but often enough that I am concerned. I will find a guy who will pursue me relentlessly, eager to spend time with me, talk with me for hours on the phone, text selfies or even pictures of their dinner, even push relationship titles (call me their girlfriend in public, introduce me to their friends and coworkers, make it "facebook official") on me when I am content to take things slow. As soon as I fall for them after learning to trust them and I start feeling secure, they immediately backpedal and rush off into the distance, revealing on their way that they had no intent to take me seriously to begin with. And it's for different reasons every time, but a pattern that I continue to see. One, I found out that I was actually nothing more than a temporary rebound, not actually real girlfriend material, despite him going around introducing me to everyone, even his boss, as his girlfriend! And I barely even got a breakup text in return. Every time I am crushed.
But in short, what is the mindset between leading a woman on and allowing her to become secure before getting bored and dropping her like she never mattered? I'm a bit of a frigid, callous person so I don't often fall for people, and it's very hard for a guy to get under my skin, so they actually have to work pretty hard to earn my trust. That's why I find it so shocking, because they work so hard and for so long, I finally soften up, and then something happens to reveal that I was actually being lead on the entire time. I'm genuinely interested in some input behind the "leading on" mindset because I am always forward and direct with my intents. Is it true that a man will do anything, anything at all including emotional deceit and false relationships for sex, then obtain it and rush off pleased as punch at his victory? Do I just keep running into cowards who realize that well, damn, this might actually go somewhere and I'm not ready for it yet, so they flee instead? I need a nonjudgmental male perspective, please. Let's talk. :)
submitted by amtawy165565