/r/Hammers: Forever Blowing Bubbles
West Ham United Football Club news and discussion.
My (F30) husband (M33) has been cheating on me with my best friend (F31) and asked me tonight if I want to be in a “throuple”.
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Edit: You beautiful people of reddit. I’m overcome (and honestly overwhelmed) with the outpouring of comments and support and awards and DMs. I just got home from work and am crying but this is a good cry. It’s been a really awful year and yesterday was brutal but logging on to this has just been the most special thing. I promise to read all your comments and DMs but it’s going to take some time haha. People who spent their coins on awards — that’s very sweet of you and I’m surprised that you’d do that on a throwaway but I want you to know that it honestly touched my heart that strangers can be this caring about a nobody. I don’t feel alone like I did last night when I posted. THANK YOU. I still have no idea the best way to leave this situation but I’m definitely not signing up for a throuple which I made crystal clear to my husband at 4am. Also, my manager pulled me aside today and asked me if everything is okay because I obviously didn’t sleep and look super gross I think from the throwing up and not eating. I just told him what happened because I couldn’t think of a lie on the spot. He took me to his office and searched our legal Bar and legal help and divorce mediation and looked me dead in the eyes and said if I tell anyone at work he’ll deny it so then I broke down sobbing in his office which was really not my finest moment. So it turns out he has a soul and gave me Monday off in his words to “get yourself to a lawyer but keep it quiet from your husband”. So on Monday my husband will think I’m at work but I’ll be seeing what my next steps should be from a legal perspective. Speaking of my husband, I asked him to give me some space for the next few days and he’s on the couch. My best friend texted me a few times today but I’ve just left her on read. This was a long edit! I’m going to eat something and sleep now. Thank you for caring reddit.
Okay, let me start out by saying fuck 2020. My husband lost his job in April, and has been home while I have been working extra shifts (making $12/hr) to keep us from going broke. Yes, I’ve been out of the house more than at home. Yes, I haven’t been super active in bed because I am really exhausted all the time from working 70 hours a week STANDING ON MY FEET all 70 hours. I thought he’d appreciate that I am working so we have things like food and a place to live. Instead he and my best friend have been fucking while I’ve been at work. She lost her job too. They’ve always gotten along with each other and I’ve never felt jealous or threatened that they have hung out together just the 2 of them over the years. One very drunk night in 2009 she and I did make out but it was a one time thing and I didn’t enjoy it. I thought I could trust them and that they were just friends. Obviously, I’m an idiot.
Enough backstory. I came home tonight and found them snuggling on the couch watching tv. Like in a spooning position, but it was very obvious it was intimate. They didn’t panic, but she sat up. Then he sat up. At this point I felt my stomach turn into a rock and I felt dizzy. No word of a lie, my body went into some kind of shock? I just walked to the bathroom and closed the door and sat on the toilet. I just started crying after I have no idea how long. I threw up. I heard them whisper talking but couldn’t make out what they were saying, but then they knocked on the bathroom door and asked if I was ok, and I told them “obviously fucking not.” They didn’t backpedal or deny anything. They didn’t admit to fucking then, but my best friend said we should all probably talk about what’s going on.
I stayed in the bathroom. We talked through the door. That’s when my husband said “ok, yes, we didn’t want you to find out like this, but we have been in a relationship since July.” He said some more things but I honestly can’t remeber them because my ears were kind of ringing? And I kept thing about him saying relationship. This wasn’t a fling or a one night stand. I could maybe forgive that but a real relationship? Isn’t marriage supposed to me mean just and I are in a relationship? So he says whatever and then my best friend says “so what do you think?” I missed everything he said obviously so I told her that and she said “so you missed the part about all three of us living together?” After me asking what? my husband clarified that she would stay on the couch but they’d keep each other company during the day and I could be with her too if I wanted (she knows I don’t want this because we would have made out more than that one time in 2009 right?) I know she needs to move out of her place because no job=no rent payment. I had told her in the past she could always crash at my place, but I never meant like this. How could she not know that? Is my best friend an idiot? Am I an idiot?
I need advice. Yes, tell me that I’m the idiot I am for trusting them and having bad judgement and not doing my “wifely duties”. I own all those things. I just need help figuring out my next steps. I don’t want to be in a throuple and I don’t even want to look at either of them. It’s 3:30am and I can’t sleep and don’t know what to do. I feel like I’ve been used. I don’t know even if I leave if I’d still have to pay for my husband’s expenses because he’s not working? Which would mean I’m paying for them to have a relationship, which idiot me has been doing since July and I really hate my life right now.
TL:DR All work and no play makes THROWRA_justfml a fucked over wife and friend.
submitted by THROWRA_justfml